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Sunday, April 29, 2007
just now i almost got knocked down by a car when crossing the pedestrian crossing. :( stupid driver... didn't even bother to brake... kns... if i really kena knocked down, i won't even be able to see him anymore. better still, don't have to think about anyone anymore.
anyway after being upset over baby's departure for 2 days plus, i decided to stop crying. i will still miss him, but i've just got too many things to do also. before and after my last 2 papers.
gotta head down to collect my uniform from the company tomorrow and get the white boots from far east. not forgetting to mug for my paper on wed. busy busy day. lol. and still gotta teach tuition at night. :p
im starting to think u are really heartless to leave me in the lurch all alone here...
shucks, why didn't the car just knock me down?
anyway after being upset over baby's departure for 2 days plus, i decided to stop crying. i will still miss him, but i've just got too many things to do also. before and after my last 2 papers.
gotta head down to collect my uniform from the company tomorrow and get the white boots from far east. not forgetting to mug for my paper on wed. busy busy day. lol. and still gotta teach tuition at night. :p
im starting to think u are really heartless to leave me in the lurch all alone here...
shucks, why didn't the car just knock me down?
Saturday, April 28, 2007
i still miss him much. but at least i've stopped crying, if not, my whole house will be flooded by now. lol. since he'll be enjoying himself over there, i should be happy too. :)
on a happier note, YAY i got the part-time job!! something exciting to look forward to after my exams. and furthermore, i'll get to wear WHITE BOOTS. whee!!! :p
okay, i'll put in all my effort in studying for my last 2 papers... Gambatte!!
on a happier note, YAY i got the part-time job!! something exciting to look forward to after my exams. and furthermore, i'll get to wear WHITE BOOTS. whee!!! :p
okay, i'll put in all my effort in studying for my last 2 papers... Gambatte!!
Friday, April 27, 2007
-sighs- baby's gonna fly off to US in about 2 hours plus time. i cried like the 8th time today already. but he was really nice to accompany me down to the interview this morning for the part-time job @ DFS. hope i can get it. though im totally in no mood now to think about whether i'll get the part-time job or not. :(
shucks. I WILL MISS HIM BADLY. and im already starting to do so. :(( i can't even finish my meals these days. i'll try pyscho-ing myself its merely 2 weeks, not like 2 years.
shucks. I WILL MISS HIM BADLY. and im already starting to do so. :(( i can't even finish my meals these days. i'll try pyscho-ing myself its merely 2 weeks, not like 2 years.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
baby and i were supposed to meet at 11am to study today, but baby only woke up at around 10 plus. what a piggy rite? :p so in the end, i studied at MOS burger while waiting for him. and i saw Ms Loh, my dunman high guides teacher. :) she couldn't recognise me at first cos she said i've grown prettier! (heh.) had a really nice time talking to her about the going-ons in dunman high. i realise i haven't been back for a really long time... hmm.
eew... i got such a puny tongue...
then after what seemed like eternity, baby came and we went to the library@ esplanade to study. (actually studying is not really allowed there... so *shh*) after a while, baby became bored and suggested taking photos. LOL.
warming up... :p
a picture of bliss... :)
me trying to be naughty...
eew... i got such a puny tongue...
then..... 10 minutes later.....
baby FELL ASLEEP! *faints*
anyway, i look darker cos i switched to using a darker foundation. baby says its good cos i don't look so 'ghostly' anymore. lol. i can't wait to go tanning after exams! :p
gotta mug now! Gambatte!! :)
i really miss those times...
when we would still be on the phone in unearthly hours.
when he would sing me songs and make those dark nights bright.
when we would talk about everything as if we had all the time in the world.
when he would call my name in the most tender voice, such that my heart will melt.
when both of us will finally say "goodnight" to each other when we are both really exhausted.
i miss those times so much. if only time will just stop itself for once. for us to indulge in the pleasures of endless time once more. i would give up anything for that, willingly. (:
when we would still be on the phone in unearthly hours.
when he would sing me songs and make those dark nights bright.
when we would talk about everything as if we had all the time in the world.
when he would call my name in the most tender voice, such that my heart will melt.
when both of us will finally say "goodnight" to each other when we are both really exhausted.
i miss those times so much. if only time will just stop itself for once. for us to indulge in the pleasures of endless time once more. i would give up anything for that, willingly. (:
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
i'll be strong. i promise. to you and to myself.
The loneliness of nights alone
The search for strength to carry on
My every hope has seemed to die
My eyes had no more tears to cry
Then like the sun shining up above
You surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldnt see are now so clear to me
Chorus:
You are my everything
Nothing your love wont bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything
Now all my hopes and all my dreams
Are suddenly reality
You've opened up my heart to feel
A kind of love that's truly real
A guiding light that'll never fade
There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
For the love you give it wont let go
I hope you'll always know
Chorus
You're the breath of life in me
The only one that sets me free
And you have made my soul complete
For all time (for all time)
Chorus
The loneliness of nights alone
The search for strength to carry on
My every hope has seemed to die
My eyes had no more tears to cry
Then like the sun shining up above
You surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldnt see are now so clear to me
Chorus:
You are my everything
Nothing your love wont bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything
Now all my hopes and all my dreams
Are suddenly reality
You've opened up my heart to feel
A kind of love that's truly real
A guiding light that'll never fade
There's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
For the love you give it wont let go
I hope you'll always know
Chorus
You're the breath of life in me
The only one that sets me free
And you have made my soul complete
For all time (for all time)
Chorus
Monday, April 16, 2007
last nite, baby and i met for dinner. when i met him after my tuition, i was like totally wow-ed by him. cos he was wearing the maroon with purple stripes shirt i picked for him from ZARA and he really looked dashing in it. -giggles- for a moment, i thought: OMG! is that my baby?!
anyway, baby was a bit troubled over his scholarship stuffs. and i was glad i helped him straightened out and sort out his thoughts after dinner. for once, i felt as if i really spoke to his heart. all along, i always wanted to share his burden and provide my listening ear and opinions when he needed some. on the other hand, i was also afraid he might feel im imposing my viewpoints on him.
but magically, our hearts conversed last night. peculiarly enough, i somehow saw the guy i knew, when i first met him, in him once more. the guy who has an aim in life. the baby whom i love. :)
honestly, i don't love you just cos you are tall, dark or handsome. maybe your friends all thought so. but really, i don't.
i love you for everything you are.
anyway, baby was a bit troubled over his scholarship stuffs. and i was glad i helped him straightened out and sort out his thoughts after dinner. for once, i felt as if i really spoke to his heart. all along, i always wanted to share his burden and provide my listening ear and opinions when he needed some. on the other hand, i was also afraid he might feel im imposing my viewpoints on him.
but magically, our hearts conversed last night. peculiarly enough, i somehow saw the guy i knew, when i first met him, in him once more. the guy who has an aim in life. the baby whom i love. :)
honestly, i don't love you just cos you are tall, dark or handsome. maybe your friends all thought so. but really, i don't.
i love you for everything you are.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
my skies are painted grey today.
though i promised myself last night i'll wake up this morning thinking it'll be a better day. im still hurt and torn apart by you, my beloved one.
today you made me realise a decision i've wrongly made. but then, what am i supposed to do now? can i turn back the time? no, i can't. i can't even provide myself a good justification for my decision.
my skies started to rain.
i so wanna run away from everything i knew. the world you've painted for me somehow cease to exist now. i wanna escape.
can you paint a new world with me again? all i want is a simple blue sky with white fluffy marshmallow clouds.
it's that simple.
though i promised myself last night i'll wake up this morning thinking it'll be a better day. im still hurt and torn apart by you, my beloved one.
today you made me realise a decision i've wrongly made. but then, what am i supposed to do now? can i turn back the time? no, i can't. i can't even provide myself a good justification for my decision.
my skies started to rain.
i so wanna run away from everything i knew. the world you've painted for me somehow cease to exist now. i wanna escape.
can you paint a new world with me again? all i want is a simple blue sky with white fluffy marshmallow clouds.
it's that simple.
as my term paper was flashed on the screen in the forensic science lecture yday, a sense of pride gushed through me. it was the first time i actually had an A+ for a term paper in my entire life in NUS and i was really surprised they picked my term paper to be used as an example for that particular topic that i did on. :)
but well, since yday was Friday the 13th... of course i wasn't spared from it as well... had a really lousy night. darling told me he would only be back from US after the 11th. fuck. originally, he had told me he would be back on the 7th and would spend the rest of his off days with me after he's back from US.
8th may marks our half year anniversary and he won't be around. i think i have every reason to be upset, though i understand its not his fault as well.
my precious gfs, please be there for me after exams when i need a shoulder to cry on if i think of him can? -sighs-
gotta mug already... tata~
but well, since yday was Friday the 13th... of course i wasn't spared from it as well... had a really lousy night. darling told me he would only be back from US after the 11th. fuck. originally, he had told me he would be back on the 7th and would spend the rest of his off days with me after he's back from US.
8th may marks our half year anniversary and he won't be around. i think i have every reason to be upset, though i understand its not his fault as well.
my precious gfs, please be there for me after exams when i need a shoulder to cry on if i think of him can? -sighs-
gotta mug already... tata~
Thursday, April 12, 2007
i went to watch The Phantom of the Opera with darling, marcus, his sis & her bf, linus and xin yi. the effects were REALLY REALLY good, and i was marvelling and amazed at their ingenuity and ability to create the effects of onstage, backstage, basement etc. in a short time. the singings were good too, tho sometimes i couldn't catch what they were singing. :p
when christine and raoul were singing a love duet, darling leaned his head against mine and held onto my hand. *smiles* i never felt so blessed up till that moment (p.s. other than the time he asked me to be his gf) :p there's nothing more i can ever ask for, for a moment like this. :)))
after that, we met up with chien yee and i-forgot-his-name for supper at chomp chomp. but it wasn't really supper cos most of them ate tau huay only. not like bbq stingray or sth. heh. was on a diet, so i was just contented with my sugar cane juice. then darling sent me home with linus's car.
happy and contented... thanks for everything darling.
All I ask of you, from The Phantom of the Opera.
RAOUL:
'No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you...
CHRISTINE:
Say you love me
every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you, now and always...
promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you...
RAOUL:
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe
No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...
CHRISTINE:
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...
RAOUL:
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
let me lead you from your solitude...
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, thats all I ask of you...
CHRISTINE:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
BOTH:
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...
CHRISTINE:
Say you love me...
RAOUL:
You know I do...
BOTH:
Love me, that's all I ask of you...
when christine and raoul were singing a love duet, darling leaned his head against mine and held onto my hand. *smiles* i never felt so blessed up till that moment (p.s. other than the time he asked me to be his gf) :p there's nothing more i can ever ask for, for a moment like this. :)))
after that, we met up with chien yee and i-forgot-his-name for supper at chomp chomp. but it wasn't really supper cos most of them ate tau huay only. not like bbq stingray or sth. heh. was on a diet, so i was just contented with my sugar cane juice. then darling sent me home with linus's car.
happy and contented... thanks for everything darling.
All I ask of you, from The Phantom of the Opera.
RAOUL:
'No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you...
CHRISTINE:
Say you love me
every waking moment, turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you, now and always...
promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you...
RAOUL:
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe
No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...
CHRISTINE:
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night...
and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...
RAOUL:
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
let me lead you from your solitude...
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, thats all I ask of you...
CHRISTINE:
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
BOTH:
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...
CHRISTINE:
Say you love me...
RAOUL:
You know I do...
BOTH:
Love me, that's all I ask of you...
Monday, April 09, 2007
-sighs- 18 more days before he flies away for 2 weeks. he'll be enjoying himself but i'll be missing him terribly. i wanna tell myself so much to be strong and not cry. but even now, thinking abt the 2 weeks, i already wanna cry... maybe if i divide the 2 weeks up into hours or even seconds, the time wouldn't seem so long to pass... right?
he wanted to go so badly, how could i bear to say no right? or who am i to say no anyway? and, even if i had said no, he'll still go ahead anyway. i cannot bear to see him disappointed also. i can't even send him off, cos probably his parents will be there to send him off. -sighs deeply- never mind, its okayyy... :(
god, give me faith. and i'll be strong. i hope.
he wanted to go so badly, how could i bear to say no right? or who am i to say no anyway? and, even if i had said no, he'll still go ahead anyway. i cannot bear to see him disappointed also. i can't even send him off, cos probably his parents will be there to send him off. -sighs deeply- never mind, its okayyy... :(
god, give me faith. and i'll be strong. i hope.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
i always wonder why our society is deeply entrenched with patriarchal notions of what beauty is. beauty = thin. shucks. im feeling totally fat and ugly right now. yes, eva longoria is hot. i should really start starving myself and working out.
im endulging myself in online games. i remembered from my new media exposure module that gaming is a form of escapism. so what exactly am i escaping from? i don't know. gaming really creates a temporal dimension for me to escape from everything. to prevent me from thinking too much about everything.
exams are coming. im stressed again. -sighs- i feel as if im in a pitch black pit, awaiting for salvation.
im endulging myself in online games. i remembered from my new media exposure module that gaming is a form of escapism. so what exactly am i escaping from? i don't know. gaming really creates a temporal dimension for me to escape from everything. to prevent me from thinking too much about everything.
exams are coming. im stressed again. -sighs- i feel as if im in a pitch black pit, awaiting for salvation.