想笑　来伪装掉下的眼泪
点点头　承认自己会怕黑
我只求　能借一点的时间来陪
你却连同情都不给


想哭　来试探自己麻痹了没
全世界　好像只有我疲惫
无所谓　反正难过就敷衍走一回
但愿绝望和无奈远走高飞


天灰灰　会不会 让我忘了你是谁
夜越黑　梦违背 难追难回味
我的世界将被摧毁 也许事与愿违


累不累　睡不睡 单影无人相依偎
夜越黑　梦违背 有谁肯安慰
我的世界将被摧毁 也许颓废也是
另一种美

i broke down. yes, the pressure from myself to do well this semester is overwhelming and engulfing. yet, circumstances has it that i must survive in this noisy environment created by inconsiderate people in hall. i honestly feel so helpless.

putting that issue aside. i thought that by staying in hall this semester would bring the two of us closer together. no, it pulled us further apart on the contrary. we have a lot more quarrels and a lot more arguments. we see lesser and talk lesser, as compared to last semester when i didn't stay in school at all.

i choose to hide, to escape, to survive myself. but maybe deep down, i may not be that strong after all.

at times, i just feel widowed. its like there's no difference between having and not having a bf at all. he's just barely there.

studying together is another unfeasible task, since his desk is so small and crammy and he still places so much stuffs on his desk. i only have about an A4-sized space to study in his room. i rather study at my desk which is so much bigger.

things just don't work out sometimes. i don't complain but that doesn't mean that the situation is not there. i just choose to ignore it.

i should have saved that $970 on hall fees and do more post-grad travelling instead. alone.